Gathering Storm
Everyone harbors a question, the question. What if? What if I talked to her one more time? what if I didn’t give up? What if I just left? This questions hang on the edge of our minds like a terrible storm, far away on the horizon. For some it stays that way, the storm never more than a distant promise. Others stand in its shadow, watching the clouds roll in, ready to break at the slightest provocation.
Jeffery was driving on his way home from vacation. Well, not home exactly, he had to go straight back to his job, he wouldn’t have time to stop at home before his shift started. He was going straight back to his small cubicle for eight hours, then would go home, eat a cold dinner with his cold wife, and probably go to sleep after a couple hours watching tv.
He was driving through the middle of the woods, and the road was just beginning to incline as it went up a hill. It made him angry that he had to go back already. It was hardly a vacation, a week of worrying about finances and arguing with his wife. That wasn’t a vacation, it was just more anger and frustration. The last argument was the worst, Jeffery hardly remembered it beyond a blur of anger and regret, and his wife leaving, taking a taxi to go home separately. He was going to apologize when he got home, as he always did whether right or wrong. But it wouldn’t matter, they would find something else to argue about by tomorrow.
Outside the sky was clear, but Jeffery could feel a storm gathering, dark clouds closing from the edge of his mind. His work wasn’t much better. His boss would probably find something to complain about when Jeffery arrived. Some minor detail on a project that one of the other braindead employees could have dealt with. He dealt with that bastard day in and day out, what did he get out of it? Too little pay and a week of disappointed vacation. The storm was just overhead now, and he could hear the rumbling thunder as the question began to rise. His car reached the top of the hill, where the road now ran alongside a sharp drop into the woods below.
Why did he have to deal with this? Why did he have to deal with the shitty money, frustrating job, and wife that stopped loving him years ago? He was sick of it, he felt angry just thinking about it, about returning to this life he couldn’t escape. He wanted so badly to just leave it all behind and escape, but where would he go? He didn’t have any friends or family he could go to. He could try talking to someone? His wife would laugh at him, and his boss would just scold him for wasting time thinking about such useless things. He felt trapped, all he could do was continue on to the endless cycle that was his life. The storm broke, and the question came down on him like a torrential downpour of rage and frustration. Why should he go back? The question crashed through his mind with force, dragging away any other thoughts as he searched for an answer. In one sudden rush he came to the realization, he didn’t have one. The road ahead of him curved to the left, and Jeffrey turned right.
